If you aren’t sure whether the time is right or not, start out by asking, “Is this a good time to talk?” Go somewhere private where you won’t be overheard. A park, your home, or even your car are all good spots for a deep talk.
Ask your partner to put their phone down, too. You’ll have a more productive conversation if both of you are in the moment and focused.
Start off by saying something like, “How was work today? Did that presentation go well?” Or, “How are you doing? I know you had a pretty tough week last week. ”
“Are you excited to see your family next week?” “I’m so happy we get to go on vacation next month! Aren’t you?”
“How come work has been so stressful lately?” “Could you ever see us living somewhere else?” “What’s a good way to comfort you after you’ve had a hard day?”
“What’s your earliest memory?” “Who were you closest to in your family growing up?” “What was your high school experience like?” “Which friend have you known the longest?”
If the topic tends to make you two mad or angry at each other, it might not be a good idea to bring it up. Make sure you at least try to see your partner’s point of view on things, even if you don’t agree.
“What did you think about that?” “How did that make you feel?” “Interesting. Could you tell me more about that?”
For example, if your partner just told you a funny story from high school, you might say, “That reminds me of the time I totally embarrassed myself in front of my entire junior year English class. ”
Even if you’ve been together for a while, you can still open up and share about things you’ve never told your partner before.
Keep open body language by uncrossing your arms and sitting up straight. If you slouch or cross your arms, it might look like you aren’t super interested in the conversation.
For instance, if your partner is talking about their childhood, you might say, “So what I hear you saying is that it was mostly good, but you struggled to get along with your brother. ”
