“You were amazing in your basketball game yesterday. I was so impressed. " “I loved the denim jacket you wore today. You’re so awesome at wearing retro clothes. " “Thanks for helping me study for the math test last night. You’re such a good friend and I couldn’t have aced it without you. " Keep the compliment short and don’t carry on with it for several texts because that’s creepy.
Don’t put too much pressure on yourself to pick the best conversational topic ever, at first. If the one you start with is a no-go, then you can always find a way to change the topic. Remember that there’s a bit less pressure to maintain a seamless conversation than you’d feel over the phone or in person. If the person doesn’t bite or sounds busy, just switch to another topic that you’re sure will generate some more enthusiasm. Some example prompts are: “What is a popular thing that annoys you?”, “What was something you liked as a kid?”, “What’s an unpopular thing that you like to do?”
Try to keep your questions open-ended. Instead of asking, “Did you like the new movie?” ask, “What did you think of the new movie?” or “Why didn’t you like the concert?” This gives the person more to work with. [4] X Research source Some examples are: “What’s a controversial opinion you have?” or “What do you think about pineapples on pizza?”.
Don’t worry so much about telling your friend what he or she wants to hear; it’s much more important that you let the real you shine through than putting on some kind of a front. If you’re normally a bit goofy or silly, let this come through! You want your authentic self to show through your texts.
If you do send a one-word text, follow it up with a longer explanation or more information. It’s okay if you like to talk in shorter sentences as long as you can keep the conversation going. If there’s really nothing more to say on the topic, you can follow up with a more open-ended question of your own or a comment about a new topic. Even if the person asked you a “yes” or “no” question, this doesn’t mean you should end it there; say “Yes and…” or “No, but…” and elaborate on your opinion or rationale. This will keep the conversation feeling more flexible and dynamic.
Plus, nothing will slow down a conversation faster than having the person you’re texting ask you for clarification or having to repeat yourself.
Avoid saying things that are too simple or basic, such as, “What’s up?” “I’ve had such a long day,” or “I’m tired today. ” You’ve got to give the other person a bit more to work with if you want to stand out.
Reminiscing like this may come off as random in the middle of a conversation, but if you want to kick off a conversation with an old friend you haven’t spoken to in a while, then sometimes the perfect thing to say can be, “Remember that time when…”
Just make sure you’re texting someone with a phone that is able to accept photos, sound effects, or other fancy additions. You don’t want to confuse your friend or make your friend feel left out by sending along a video or an image your friend can’t see.
Avoid using words repetitively. It’s hard to have an interesting conversation when you get the same old, monotone replies every time: “Lol”, “Ah”, “Wow”, “Oh”, etc. Try to mix it up a little bit to let the other person know you take an interest in what they have to say. This will keep the conversation more fun than if you say the same old thing all the time. You can use some emoticons or exclamation marks to generate some enthusiasm, though you don’t have to overdo it, either. If you’re just having a bad day and aren’t up for being overly enthusiastic, let your friend know.
You don’t want to seem self-absorbed by ignoring signs that the person wants to talk or has something to share. If the person seems like he’s not telling you the full story, or if something really exciting happened to him, then give him his turn to speak. [6] X Research source Carefully read over what the person wrote, especially if the message is really long, before responding. You don’t want to look like you’re only half listening when you ask a question about something the person just told you one minute ago. If the person is talking about something important and serious, then make sure you’re free to really engage with him. If your friend is telling you about her grandmother’s death, then you should call her and talk about it instead of half-answering her because you’re in math class.
It’s much better to keep the flow of an imperfect, natural conversation than to spend ten minutes crafting the most amazing story ever. Plus, you don’t always know what the person you’re texting is up to, and you may have missed your chance to talk to that person for hours.
Remember that the benefit of a texting convo is that you have a bit more time to craft a response. The downside is that the person you’re talking to may not be as engaged as he or she would be if you were talking in person; it’s best to accept that instead of putting the person off by acting impatient.
Remember that it’s more important to be interested than interesting. Instead of telling the person a million fascinating facts you learned that day, you’re much better off asking the person about his day, his ideas, or his experiences. People like talking about themselves more than you think.
“I’m going to Santa Cruz for the first time this weekend. Any suggestions for places to eat?” “What do you think I should get my boyfriend for his birthday? I’m completely stumped. " “Which dress do you think I should wear to the school dance? I can’t decide. "
“Good luck with your test tomorrow. I know you’ll rock it!” “Get some rest before your interview. You’re going to wow them. " “Kick some butt in the soccer game this afternoon! I’ll be cheering in the stands. "
“I ate this hotdog and when I added more ketchup, I remembered your story about the ketchup bottle” or “This song came on the radio and it reminded me of you. " It’s nice to make people smile!
If none of those games appeal to you, try issuing challenges, like “Let’s see who can tell the corniest dad joke” or “Guess what this string of emojis is saying. "
