If your child has been frightened about something for a long time, it’s easy to lose your patience with them. Remember that the fear is real for them and try to be as understanding as possible. For instance, if your child wakes you up with a nightmare, go and sit with them. If they’re distraught, you might say, “It’s okay. It’s okay. You’re safe. You’re in bed and I’m here. "
For example, your kid might not say that they have a fear of heights. Instead, they might say that they don’t like going to a certain store or building. When you ask them why they might say that going up the stairs and looking out the window makes them feel bad. Keep asking questions until you have a good idea what exactly they’re afraid of. Some common childhood fears include fear of the dark, shots, bugs, big animals, being alone, loud noises, or imaginary monsters.
For instance, if they’re scared of a spider, you might say, “I know, that spider looks scary to you, but it’s not going to hurt you,” or, “I know, you don’t like going to the doctor. You sound a little anxious about it. “[6] X Trustworthy Source Zero to Three Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing resources to ensure that all babies and toddlers have a healthy start to life. Go to source
You might say something like, “I used to be scared of big dogs, too, but then I met a really friendly dog that let me pet him,” or “I know that you’re frightened of big kids at school, but did you know that they were all little kids once?”
For example, if your child is afraid of sleeping in their dark bedroom, some ideas might be adding night lights to their room, reading an extra book before you tuck them in, keeping the door cracked. Get their input and adjust your plan as they face their fear. You might try imaginary solutions for some problems. For instance, if your child is afraid of monsters, fill a spray bottle with water and turn the nozzle to a mist setting. When your child’s scared, they can spray the “monster” and make it go away.
Not sure what books to read? Ask your local librarian or the librarian at your child’s school for recommendations. You can remind your child about the character in the story if they get worried again. For instance, say, “Remember what Ruby did when she was scared by the shadow in her closet? She got her flashlight out and shined it right there!” Maybe a character in a book was afraid of loud noises and you could remind your child that it was actually something silly causing the noise so there’s no need to be scared.
For instance, if you’re out at a park and a dog starts to run over to you and your child, tell your child not to run off or the dog might think they want to play. Stay there with your child and keep the dog from jumping up on them. If the dog calms down, you might show your kid how to gently pet the dog. [11] X Research source If your child’s afraid of playing with other kids and kids show up at the playground while you’re there, don’t say it’s time to go. Instead, stay with your child and encourage them to say hi to someone. Small steps are a great way to start!
The main goal is to reduce the attention your child gives to their fear.
For example, if your kid is afraid of clowns and you’re at a party where there is a clown, just brush it off and don’t make a big deal out of it. You might say, “I see there’s a pinata, a clown, and a bouncy castle. This looks like a fun party!” You could say, “I’m going to turn off the light for bed now. Looks like you’re all brave and snuggled up! Night night. "
You could say, “You did so great at the doctor’s office today. I knew you could do it!” or, “I really like how you didn’t run away from that dog at the park. "
You should also get your child professional care if they’re having severe anxiety. They might withdraw from activities, be disruptive, or have panic attacks. [16] X Expert Source Peggy Rios, PhDCounseling Psychologist (Florida) Expert Interview. 18 December 2020.
