Only begin the conversation when your friend is sober. If you try to talk to them when they are under the influence, will not be able to have a coherent conversation. Your friend may become defensive when you first approach them about your concerns. Avoid accusations or arguments. Stick to the facts and remind yourself to stay calm. If they tries to shift the conversation to you, you can respond by saying something like, “I know that you don’t agree with everything that I do and I will be happy to talk about those things with you later. Right now though, I’m really concerned about your safety. ”
For example, you could say, “Alex, I’m here right now because I’m worried about you. ” You might also say “Charlie, I’m concerned that you’re smoking marijuana. You’re important to me and I’m concerned about the impact that your smoking is having on your life…” Avoid critical and judgmental statements like “I’m so disgusted with you, Alex. ”
Use statements that your friend cannot dispute. For example, you might say, “You left the party with two people that you did not know yesterday. I am very concerned for your safety. ” Always distinguish between your friend as a person and their behavior. Focus on what behaviors your friend is engaging in and not on her as a person. Avoid statements like, “You’re so irresponsible” or “You’re such a bad influence for your children. ” Emphasize the difference between their sober behavior and behavior that occurs when they are not sober. For example, you could say “You are always so adventurous and I love that about you. But when you use drugs, you often do very risky and dangerous things. ”
You should do research on drugs before talking to your friend so that you have the scientific information available during the conversation. Do not accuse or berate your friend. Just share the information in a respectful way. For example, you could say, “Did you know that mollies can cause you to have a seizure? It can also cause your heart to beat abnormally. ”[5] X Research source
Even if your friend is reluctant to seek treatment, you can still research treatment options for her. If you find a treatment facility that appeals to her, she may be more likely to consider treatment. Confide in a trusted adult if your friend is not an adult and she continues to abuse drugs. Keep in mind that your friend may be angry with you or even feel betrayed by you for a while. However, getting an adult involved is the best way to help her. Eventually she will come back around and understand that you had her best interest at heart. Remind yourself that an addiction is a disease of the brain that usually requires treatment for the person to heal. [6] X Research source Just like your friend would need to see a doctor if she was suffering from a physical disease, she will need a professional to help her heal from an addiction. Viewing an addiction as a disease that needs treatment may motivate you to seek help from a trusted adult.
Listen to your friend. If she confides in you, be sure to listen in a nonjudgmental way. It’s probably hard for your friend to open up about her drug use. If your friend is a teenager, encourage your friend to get help from a trusted adult such as a parent, teacher, relative, counselor, clergyman, or coach. When she is ready, help her to find a support group or a substance abuse counselor in the local area.
A history of violence A history of mental illness A history of suicidal behavior or she has recently talked about suicide A history of taking several mood-altering drugs or substances
Local clinics National organizations that offer treatment programs Local mental health providers Narcotics Anonymous, Alcohol Anonymous, Meth Anonymous, and other similar programs If travel is required, be sure that the arrangements are in place before the intervention occurs.
The focus is only on helping your friend get treatment. Do not be confrontational during the intervention. Your friend should be treated with respect during the entire meeting. It might be helpful to have a rehearsal meeting before having the actual intervention. Your rehearsed message should include specific incidents when the addiction has caused problematic behaviors. Make sure that your message is worded in a way that expresses concern for your friend. For example, you could begin by saying, “It upsets me when you use drugs. Just last week…” Be sure that you stick to the rehearsed script. Any deters can quickly result in the intervention going off course. You can make notes to bring in the session if necessary. [12] X Trustworthy Source Mayo Clinic Educational website from one of the world’s leading hospitals Go to source
Anticipate your friend’s objections in advance. This way the team can come with prepared responses to her potential objections to treatment. Not all interventions are successful so emotionally prepare yourself for the possibility of a failed intervention. However, if your friend refuses the plan you should be prepared to follow through on the consequences that you have already identified.
Be sure to be a good listener. Your friend may find it difficult to live a sober lifestyle, especially during the first year of recovery. Just being a listening ear can be a big support for your friend. Withhold judgment when talking to your friend. The last thing your friend needs is a sermon about how bad her past mistakes were and how it messed up her life.
Alcohol Anonymous Crystal Meth Anonymous Narcotics Anonymous Cocaine Anonymous Marijuana Anonymous You can also get referrals from a physician, friend, or social service organization.
Volunteering A new exercise regimen Taking classes Starting a new hobby
You should always avoid environments where substances are readily available. Even celebrations should be substance free. If you are in a restaurant with a bar, ask to be seated far away from the bar. You should never visit your friend when you are under the influence of alcohol any drugs yourself.
Journaling Deep breathing Exercising Meditating
Your friend is beginning to skip support meetings. She is spending time with old friends who are still using drugs. She is using other types of drugs. For instance, if your friend was in treatment for cocaine use and is now using alcohol, this is a red flag. You’re friend begins to say things like, “It’s okay to do it just this one time. ” You’re friend suddenly starts exhibiting withdrawal symptoms.
