Persistent sad feelings or lack of motivation Loss of interest in hobbies, friends, and/or sex Excessive fatigue or feeling slowed down in thinking, speaking, or movement Increased or decreased appetite Trouble sleeping or sleeping too much Trouble concentrating and making decisions Irritability Feelings of hopelessness and/or pessimism Weight loss or gain Thoughts of suicide Aches pains or digestive problems Feelings of guilt, worthlessness, and/or helplessness[2] X Research source
Say something like, “I’m worried about you and I think that you should talk to a doctor about how you have been feeling lately. ” Encourage your friend to follow up with a psychologist as well. [3] X Trustworthy Source Mayo Clinic Educational website from one of the world’s leading hospitals Go to source
Offer to make the appointment for your friend and even go with him or her to the doctor to offer your support. Offer to help your friend make a list of questions to ask the doctor before the appointment. [4] X Trustworthy Source Mayo Clinic Educational website from one of the world’s leading hospitals Go to source
Point out your friend’s strengths and accomplishments to help build them up. For example, you could say, “You are such a gifted artist. I really admire your talent. ” Or, “I think it is so amazing that you have raised three wonderful children on your own. Not everyone has that kind of strength. ” Give your friend hope by reminding them that the way they are feeling is only temporary. People who suffer from depression often feel like things will never get better, but you can remind them that this is not the case. Say something like, “You may not believe it now, but the way that you are feeling will change. ”[5] X Trustworthy Source HelpGuide Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources. Go to source Avoid saying unnecessary things like, “it’s all in your head,” or, “Snap out of it!” Making judgmental statements like these will make your friend feel worse and may cause their depression to become more severe. [6] X Research source
You can communicate your willingness to help by saying something like, “I know you are going through a difficult time right now, and I just want you to know that I am here for you. Call or text me if you need me. ” Try not to get discouraged if your friend does not respond to your positivity the way that you want or expect. It is common for people with depression to be apathetic, even towards people who care about them. Remember that sometimes the best way to communicate your support is just being there with the friend. You can just spend time with them watching a movie or reading, with no pressure to talk about depression or even to hope that they will cheer up. Accept them just as they are at that moment. Set boundaries about when you can accept phone calls or texts. No matter how much you want to help your friend, make sure that helping them does not take over your life. Make sure that your friend knows that you care, but that if your friend is having an emergency in the middle of the night, she should call Suicide and Crisis Lifeline at 988 or call 911. [7] X Research source
Don’t pressure your friend into sharing. Just let them know that you are willing to listen when they are ready and give them time. Be attentive as you listen to your friend. Nod and react appropriately to let them know that you are listening. Try echoing what your friend has just said now and then during the conversation to let them know that you are paying attention. Avoid getting defensive, trying to take over the conversation, or ending sentences for them. Be patient even though it might be hard sometimes. Continue to make your friend feel heard by saying things like, “I see,” “Go on,” and “Yes. ”[8] X Research source
Threats or talk of suicide Statements implying they don’t care about anything or won’t be around anymore Giving away their stuff; making a will or funeral arrangements The purchase of a gun or other weapon Sudden, unexplained cheerfulness or calm after a period of depression If you observe any of this behavior, get help right away! Call a health care professional, mental health clinic, or the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline at 988 to get advice about what action to take. [9] X Trustworthy Source Mayo Clinic Educational website from one of the world’s leading hospitals Go to source
Just make sure that you do not pressure your friend into doing anything that he or she is not ready to do. Be patient and persistent.
Make sure that you only use humor inappropriate situations. If your friend is opening up to you or crying, you might not want to tell a joke at that moment. Do not be discouraged or feel inadequate if your friend does not laugh. Sometimes it is very hard to feel anything at all, even good things, but this will hopefully get better with time.
Say something like, “I noticed you seem very tired lately. When did you start feeling this way?” Offer your help the same way that you did before and continue to encourage your friend as you have been. [11] X Trustworthy Source HelpGuide Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources. Go to source
take a yoga class take a bubble bath read a book journal about your thoughts and feelings meditate or pray go for a walk or bike ride spend time with other people who can help support and encourage you as you help your friend with depression
