Frequent dwelling on a thought obsessively Believing that there is no hope, and no way to end the pain other than committing suicide. Viewing life as meaningless, or out of control. Feeling as though one’s brain is in a fog that makes concentration difficult
Extreme mood swings Feelings of loneliness and isolation, even in the presence of others Feelings of worthlessness, shame, guilt, self-hatred, and the sense that no one cares. Becoming sad, withdrawn, tired, apathetic, anxious, irritable, or prone to angry outbursts.
“Life isn’t worth living. " “You (or another friend or family member) would be better off without me. " “Don’t worry, I won’t be around to deal with that. " “You’ll be sorry when I’m gone. " “I won’t be in your way much longer. " “I just can’t deal with everything — what’s the point?” “I won’t be a burden much longer. " “There’s nothing I can do to change anything. " “I’d be better off dead. " “I feel like there is no way out. " “I never should have been born”.
Declining performance in school, work, or other activities (or occasionally the opposite, filling up time with extra duties and responsibilities) Social isolation Little or no interest in sex, friends, or previously enjoyable activities Carelessness about personal welfare and deteriorating physical appearance Alterations in either direction in sleeping or eating habits. Look for extremes like self-starvation, poor dietary management, or inattention to medical orders (especially in the elderly) Drastic changes to established routines. Lethargy and withdrawal.
Tying up loose ends (e. g. saying goodbye to loved ones, giving away valuable belongings, arranging finances) Making reckless or passive decisions about important things Gathering the means to commit suicide, like pill bottles, medications, and weapons
“How are you coping with what’s been happening in your life?” “Do you ever feel like just giving up?” “Do you think often about dying?” “Are you considering hurting yourself?” “Are you thinking about suicide?” “Have you ever tried to harm yourself before?”
Openly embrace the topic as another way to show how much you care. If you are direct about your concern, you will give off a sense of a justified sense of urgency. It is a common myth that bringing up suicide will put the idea into a person’s mind. In fact, speaking openly about suicide can help your friend realize that there are other options available. [9] X Research source Stay on topic as best you can. Your friend might try to dismiss your concern by looking at you with confusion or making you feel silly for bringing it up. But, don’t be afraid to be persistent in your concern–especially in light of recognizing warning signs.
The belief that suicide is selfish, crazy, or morally defective is widely circulated in our culture. Be aware that suicidality is the result of a treatable condition for which your friend is not at fault.
Statements that dismiss feelings, like “things aren’t really that bad. " Superficial comments that prompt feelings of shame and isolation, like “you have so much to live for,” or “think about how much your suicide will hurt your family and friends. ” Instead, show compassion by saying, “things must really be awful if you are feeling that way. ”
Let them talk for as long as they need. Even if you can think of many words of encouragement or reasons why they should cheer up, hold off. Create space for your friend to express themselves without cutting in to give your own opinion. Validate feelings. It can be hard to come out and express feelings that you don’t expect others to understand. Make your friend feel less alone by showing understanding and affirmation of these feelings.
This is your opportunity to tell your friend your perspective. Mention that suicide is a permanent solution to a solvable problem and that you and others are more than willing to help realize other possibilities.
If your friend is taking prescription medication, you may want to offer to keep it for them and give doses as needed.
Before doing this, ask yourself about the reality of how much you can manage to get involved, knowing that involvement can be a drain on emotions and time.
There are many support groups available online and in-person. Search for groups that address various problems that can contribute to suicidal feelings and provide information about other resources. [15] X Research source
