Someone who is hypercompetitive tries to beat out everyone, however someone who is actively undermining others wants to see coworkers fail. They usually do not care about the outcome of the project. Rather, they care more about how they will look in the end, no matter the outcome. [1] X Research source Watch for a tendency to steal credit for your work or to blame you for their shortcomings. These are also signs of a coworker who is trying to undermine you.
If you answered yes to these questions, then chances are you are dealing with an undermining coworker.
Save all emails where you have contributed original ideas and work. [3] X Research source
Also, if the coworker is trying to take away your team members, or misguide them, be suspicious about this coworker’s intentions.
This is especially an issue if there is an upcoming promotion or an empty spot above you two. Think about possible motivations that your coworker could have to keep things from you. If you think your coworker is hiding something, make sure that you are getting the information from others so that you can properly do your job.
Ask your coworker, “Does James forget to include you in important emails?” Or, “James told me something really negative about you the other day, does he say negative things about me, as well?”
For example, try to write down verbatim what the questionable coworker said and did or did not do. If your coworkers were present during an event or conversation, write a summary of what happened and have them sign and date the document as proof of what actually occurred. [5] X Research source
If the coworker keeps “forgetting” to inform you about important meetings, send an email to all the people in the meeting. Include the information and ideas you would have provided at the meeting, and ask them to invite you in the future. Again cc your boss in the email. Form a professional relationship with others in the office who have access to the information you need so that you have other ways of finding out what you need to know.
You can say, for example, “Hi, James. I just wanted to know why you didn’t tell me about the meeting this morning. ” See how they respond. If they avoid the issue by saying they “forgot”, but it has been a repeated problem, then you can tell your boss you tried to resolve the issue. Document this, as well.
How regularly you meet with your boss depends on your boss’ schedule, but try to meet with your boss at least twice a month.
Email your boss and ask them when it is convenient for them to talk. Be positive in your email and don’t go into too much detail.
Write a small statement of five to seven sentences that succinctly states the problem, what you have done to address the problem, and how the problem has impacted your and other coworker’s work. Remember to stick to the facts when discussing the issue. Make copies of your documents and keep the originals. Give the copied documents to your boss to have on file. Keep your own file, as well.
If you decide to bring a coworker, let the boss know beforehand that the coworker will be coming with you to the meeting.
If your boss suggests a solution you have already tried, like confronting the coworker, respectfully remind your boss that you tried this, and that the outcome was not very successful.
Remember to keep your voice at an even pitch. Do not talk too loudly, too fast, or too slow. The best thing you can do is listen to your boss, and respond in respectful manner, for example, “Yes,” “No,” “Thank you,” and “Please. " If you are angry, try not to clench your jaw, and be aware of your facial expressions. Try to maintain either neutral, or positive facial expressions.
