You can say something like “My friend Sarah was telling me that she went to a co-ed sleepover a few weeks ago, and it was really fun and nothing got out of hand. ” If they react badly to the idea, don’t argue with them. Just say that you understand why they’re worried, but that you still think it can be done responsibly.
Don’t be afraid to talk about ways that you and your friends have proved your maturity and responsibility. Point out that single-gender sleepovers have many of the same risks as mixed-gender ones–not everyone is cisgender and heterosexual! If you’re planning to only invite platonic friends, reassure your parents that this is just a chance for friends to hang out. Offer to take on more responsibilities if they agree. If they absolutely refuse to consider it, accept it.
Talk to your parents about how many people you can invite over before you ask anyone. If you don’t have a limit, between six and ten people is usually best for sleepovers. If you’re worried about sexual activity, it might be best to avoid inviting people who are dating or hooking up with each other.
Make sure you have backup sleeping arrangements. It’s possible that some of your friends may be uncomfortable with your sleeping arrangement plan. For example, if someone is uncomfortable sharing a room with boys, make sure they have somewhere else to sleep.
If you serve alcohol, make sure you also provide non-alcoholic drinks like soda, water, or juice–even people who drink will need a break. Make sure people drink responsibly.
Ask your friends what they like to do at sleepovers.
For example, you could say “I don’t want anything to get out of hand, but if you guys decide to hook up, can you make sure you go somewhere private and use protection?”
Don’t worry too much about sticking to plans. If everybody’s having a good time, it’s okay if you don’t watch the movie.
You could say something like “Hey, this is getting out of hand. You’re making everyone feel uncomfortable and I’m going to get in trouble if my parents walk in. Can you stop?”
