You can also be blunt and ask if you can hug her. This removes all doubt![2] X Research source If she’s not interested, she probably won’t hold your gaze and her body language will be “closed” (crossed legs, folded arms, tense body, turned away). [3] X Research source Her tone of voice may be flat when she talks to you.
Even if she displays all the “signs” of wanting to be hugged, she may not actually want to be hugged! (Body language isn’t an exact science, unfortunately!) It’s essential that she has a second to back out before you make contact. Otherwise, she may feel forced, and the situation will turn awkward. The upside is that slower movements are generally considered more romantic. So if she does want you to hug her, a smooth and gentle approach will seem all the more intimate. Hugging hack: if you’re in a group of people, see if she hugs others. This isn’t a guarantee she wants to hug, and the rules about pulling back if she recoils apply. But whether she hugs others in the group and for how long can act as a guide for hugging her yourself. [4] X Research source
Tight, full-body embraces longer than a few seconds are usually meant for significant others, close friends, or close family members. Significant others may rub their partners’ backs or hold their head. If you think she may be receptive to this, try it—but move slowly, and be prepared for rejection. To play it safe, keep your hands still on her back or keep one hand over your other arm. Shorter hugs are lighter and more casual. The average “hello” or “goodbye” hug should be about 1 or 2 seconds of holding.
If she starts to let go or you can feel her go limp in your arms, immediately release your hug.
For a casual greeting or goodbye hug, say “I’m so happy to see you!” or “See you later!” For a hug that acknowledges an accomplishment, say “Congratulations!” or give her a compliment, like “You inspire me. “[7] X Research source For a comforting hug, tailor what you say to the situation. “It’s OK” or “I’m here” are both appropriate ways to show your support and acknowledge her feelings. [8] X Research source For the buddy hug, say whatever sparked the hug in the first place. “You’re awesome,” or “We really rocked that ultimate Frisbee game, didn’t we?” is always fun. If you want to convey romantic feelings, try something subtle, like “You’re such a great hugger,” or be more overt if you’re feeling gutsy: “I really like holding you. ”
Many people appreciate being greeted by friends with a quick “friends” hug (even if you want to be more than friends). Saying goodbye with a hug is also a nice, friendly gesture. Whether you’re on the same team that just won a big game or if she’s having a hard day, a hug can be a really good way to reinforce that you’re there for her. [9] X Research source
Slow-dance. Her arms will go upward and around your neck and your arms will go under hers. You can put your arms around her waist or higher up her back. The lower your hands go on her back, the more suggestive the hug is. This can be a very intimate hug. Big bear and little bear. Her arms will go below yours and you’ll wrap around her back while her arms wrap around your waist. This is a friendlier hug and allows her to be pulled close to you and have her head rest on your chest. One-arm sling. This is the least romantic kind of hug—more of a buddy hug, really. This is when the hugger comes in from the side and wraps one arm around her shoulders or neck, as a casual friendly hug. T-Rex. Both the hugger and the girl’s arms stay around the waist and lower back area. This will allow for the both of you to rest your heads on each others shoulders. This is going to allow for a friendlier, less suggestive hug. Criss-cross. One of your arms goes up and the other goes down to create an “x” with your arms and hers. This can lead to the perfect “pull back and kiss” position where both of you still have your arms holding on to each other with enough room to still kiss. From behind. This is a hug you only do with a girl you know well, and unless she likes scary surprises, let her know it’s you as you move into the hug. This is a very intimate hug.
Use your instincts, but the best rule of thumb is that if you’re offered a hug, go for it. If you want to initiate a hug, don’t think too much about it, but pull back if your friend steps back.
Lean in, bending from your waist. The idea here is not full-body contact, which is a much more intimate and personal hug. Wrap one arm around her arm and place your hand in-between her shoulder blades. Wrap your other arm around her and place your hand below your first hand.
