If you find yourself in conversation with two people who don’t know each other, try to introduce them as soon as possible. This can get a little tricky. Let’s say you’re with your college roommate, Amanda, when you run into your friend from high school, Jake, who launches into a story about a mutual friend. Poor Amanda will be standing there feeling awkward and bored while Jake rambles on. It’s important to find an opening so that you can include Amanda into the conversation. You should avoid introducing someone to people who are in the middle of a serious conversation. Maybe you’re at a work event with a client, and you’ve been eager to introduce him to your boss. While this is an important introduction that should be made, you should avoid doing so if your boss seems to be entangled in a deep conversation with another person. You should wait for an opening, when your boss doesn’t seem extremely absorbed; making introductions at the wrong time can lead people to not hit it off as well as they could.
Your 70-year-old mother-in-law is of greater seniority than your brand new boyfriend. Great age takes precedence over most rank or authority, out of courtesy and respect. Your eighty-year-old male neighbor should be ranked higher than your fourteen-year-old niece (according to most people). All other things being equal, the person you’ve known the longest should be named first: introduce your junior friend to your senior friend. For social introductions, men are usually introduced to women, as a sign of respect. Gender is not a factor in business settings, where rank is more important. Your relatives hold higher rank over your friends.
Your boss will be of greater rank or authority than your colleague, partner, or best friend. Your senior colleague takes precedence over your junior colleague. Your customer or client should be introduced to your employees. If you are introducing people of equal rank in the business world, then introduce the person you don’t know as well to the person you know better. You should say the name of the person you know better first.
Introduce a friend or significant other to a relative. The relative has a higher rank: “Dad, I’d like you to meet my boyfriend, Danny. " Introduce a lower-ranking business associate to a higher ranking one: “Mr. CEO, I’d like to introduce Mr. Underling. " Introduce a client to a business associate: “Mr. Client, this is Mr. Money, my associate. " Introduce a younger person to an older one: “Mr. Oldson, I’d like you to meet Sally Youngling. " Introduce a man to a woman: “Mary, this is Jeff. " In a business setting, let rank take precedence over gender. If Mr. Thomas is a higher-ranking male than Mrs. Davis, Mr. Thomas gets the higher authority because of his business position, even though Mrs. Davis is a woman:” Mr. Thomas, may I introduce Mrs. Davis. "
“Elizabeth, have you met Fitzwilliam? I believe you both share a love of reading Jane Austen while walking on the moors. " “Mom, this is my friend, Stacy. She teaches classes at your yoga studio. " “Mr. Jones, this is Mr. Smith. Mr. Smith has been helping me on the Connor account. We never would have closed the account if it wasn’t for your help, Mr. Jones. " “Mary, I’d love for you to meet Mark Charles, my neighbor. Mark is actually a published writer. Mary has just started taking creative writing classes. " “Amy, have you met Rick? Rick actually works with Jeff, your roommate. Isn’t Jeff the greatest? I wish he could be here tonight. . . "
Name the person of greater rank or authority first. Use both first and last names, and include any title such as “Dr. /Sir”. For example, “Dr. Jones, may I introduce Stephanie Smith. Dr. Jones is my art history professor. Stephanie is an art history major. " Include relevant details as you introduce the two together, such as any established relationship you have with the person you’re introducing. For example, you might say: “Mr. Boss, may I present Mark Jones. Mr. Boss is my boss. Mark Jones is my associate. "
Using first names only is fine in informal situations.
For more formal, larger groups, introduce the newcomer to the whole group first, then take the newcomer to each person and introduce by name: “Caroline, this is Fitzwilliam, my boss; Lydia, this is Fitzwilliam, my boss,” etc. Continue working your way around the group in this manner. Though you may think it’s funny or just easier to say, “Mary, this is everybody. Everybody, this is Mary,” this doesn’t actually help get a conversation going. Besides, it’s rude to “everybody,” because it makes it seem like you don’t think it’s worth it for Mary to get to know each person. Of course, use your discretion: if you’re at a loud party and Mary just got there, it may be overwhelming to introduce her to twelve new faces immediately. Instead, ease Mary into the conversation and introduce her to a few people at a time.
Politely excuse yourself and say, “I’m so sorry, would you mind reminding me of your name?” Try to be sneaky. Say, “Have the two of you met?” Then pause and wait for the people to introduce themselves. This isn’t a perfect maneuver, but it can help you in a pinch, especially if you’ve forgotten the name of a person you’ve met several times!
When in doubt, go with the more formal option. It’s better to have your boss say, “You can call me Bob instead of Mr. " instead of having your boss bristle when you call him “Bob” instead of “Mr. "
